“We spend our lives waiting for our parents to apologize. They spend theirs waiting for a thank you.”
For a long time, my relationship with my father illustrated this quote from the TV show Casual. Although I never doubted my dad’s love, there were times when I didn’t feel it or receive it in the way I needed. This experience of frustration motivated me to create a healthy distance between the two of us. This distance prevented me (and possibly him) from knowing the reciprocal love between us.
When I was in my mid 20s I invited my father to come with me to a Maundy Thursday service during Holy Week. As we knelt at the rail for communion I experienced my dad in a new light. Instead of seeing a man who had failed me, sitting next to me was a man receiving the same grace and gift as me. My heart broke and I wept at that communion rail as I realized in my bones how far the grace of God extends.
“One single sacrifice for all.” 10:12
The practice of communion allows us to understand God’s extension of grace in a real and tangible sense as we experience Jesus’s willingness to suffer with us. He chose not to maintain the security of the divine realm and instead embrace the human condition. In this, he is the great high priest, the one who understands and knows our suffering and can support us and our weaknesses.
In the body and life of Jesus there was a bit of heaven that revealed a deeper understanding of God. That life was marked by suffering: by scars and bruises, by unfulfilled promises and unrealistic expectations, by imperfect ancestors who held to faith alone, by unlawful shootings and forced deportations, by being scorned and excluded.
Our human experience of suffering yokes us not only to him but to one another. And, in communion we are deeply present to suffering in a way that allows us not only to know suffering but also to know the grace that accompanies it.
Prayer: May I know you in suffering.
Reflection: When have you chosen to avoid rather than embrace suffering? What might help you embrace suffering as a pathway to knowing grace?
Art: Unknown Artist – Referenced Here